Monthly Archives: August 2014

Motherhood Vs. Suicide in the Media

It was a sad day when the world lost Robin Williams. I myself, have never been one of his bigger fans. I can’t even remember the last time I saw one of his movies, but I have fond memories of seeing his movies as a child. He will always be remembered as one of the great performers. He brought joy into countless homes and raised the spirits of children everywhere. From my understanding, he was even kinder in person than he was portrayed in movies, which is saying a lot.

As always, the death of a celebrity of this caliber has hit the media hard. Especially because he was so beloved among several different generations. But this is a special case. Robin Williams, has apparently committed suicide.

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I recently read a blog post by Matt Walsh. I started following him because he had a great post about stay at home moms, but since that post I have come to realize… he is a bit of a dick. He uses his blogging platform as an excuse to say whatever he wants, no matter how hurtful. I admire his honestly, and his ability to shrug off negative criticism, and I don’t disagree with everything he says. Just most of it.

This is the offending post; Robin Williams did not die from a disease

I agree with a few points. But overall… I believe depression, and whatever else Robin Williams may have suffered from, is a disease. I don’t know how it gets in, what causes it, but studies will tell you it’s not just in our imaginations. It is a physical ailment, with physical symptoms and chemical altercations. Yes, people who commit suicide do it on purpose. They plan it, they act it out. But is it really a choice? Matt Walsh believes it was a choice.

Depression, anxiety disorder, borderline personality, multiple personality, schizophrenia… they’re Daemons. They possess you, they control you. These disorders aren’t choices. We don’t choose to be depressed. We don’t wake up one day and CHOOSE to hate ourselves, the world and everything in it. I don’t know why we have these disorders, but we don’t choose them, they choose us.

I can’t speak for everyone. But when I get hit with depression or anxiety like hitting a brick wall at high speed, I don’t have control. Something takes over, all sense is lost, I don’t make choices. A Daemon takes control and I’m no longer in control of my own body. A small part of my brain will be screaming at me, telling me to put the razor blade down, to take a deep breath, to step away from the situation. But that small part, is not in control anymore. Something else is.

If I were to ever kill myself, it wouldn’t be me. I would think of my son, my husband, my mother, everyone who’s lives would be affected by my actions. My Daemon doesn’t care about any of that. Nobody can convince me that this Daemon isn’t a disease. Anyone who tells me I can control It, doesn’t have a Daemon of their own.

Matt Walsh says he’s upset by all the memes out there talking about how Robin Williams is now FREE. He thinks there is no peace in it, because you leave behind chaos, you devastate your loved ones. The Daemon doesn’t care about our loved ones. It is a selfish son of a bitch, and It gets what It wants. If It wants to be free, It will be free. Robin Williams is free. He doesn’t wake up every morning and wonder why he couldn’t have just passed away peacefully in the night. He doesn’t interact every day with people who don’t understand him. He doesn’t have the Daemon on his shoulder, constantly nagging at him to just end it all, every second of the day, fighting It. He is free of the nagging. He is free to never wake up and feel that dread of facing the world another day.

I do agree, however, that speaking so highly of his action, and glorifying suicide does send the wrong message to our youth. We don’t want them thinking that suicide is a glorious deed. It isn’t, and I don’t encourage or condone it in any way. I don’t want any more loss of life. But the Daemons will always find hosts. All we can do, is hope that people get help in time, and they see enough beauty in the world to fight the Daemon and keep It from taking control. I am thankful every day, that my Daemon hasn’t won yet.

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Matt Walsh believes this, and still thinks depression isn’t a disease. Like Robin Williams could just choose to be healthy. He had all those great things, but the Daemon wasn’t content. It is a disease, it is a cancer, that doesn’t care how successful you are, how many people love you. If the Daemon decides it’s time, the person who takes the pills, uses the razor, or jumps…. isn’t them anymore. They are the Daemon. It chose for them. A person who dies of cancer doesn’t make that decision, the cancer does. To me, they are one and the same.

This is my opinion, speaking as someone who battles the Daemon every day. But I don’t expect absolutely everyone to understand, and I respect that other opinions are just as valid as my own.

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