Every woman has some grievances with her body. “My nose is too big,” “My butt’s too small,” “My hair is grey or thin,” there’s no shortage of things to be unhappy about. The media does a pretty good job of cramming the ideal of perfection into our subconscious everywhere we look. If you don’t look like Barbie, you’re not trying hard enough. It’s sad that they recently tried to change the Barbie image, make her more normal, and the notion was rejected and the prototype thrown out.
Speaking of Barbie…..
If Barbie was an actual woman, she would be 5’9” tall, have a 39” bust, an 18” waist, 33” hips and a size 3 shoe. • Barbie calls this a “full figure” and likes her weight at 110 lbs. • At 5’9” tall and weighing 110 lbs, Barbie would have a BMI of 16.24 and fit the weight criteria for anorexia. She likely would not menstruate. • If Barbie was a real woman, she’d have to walk on all fours due to her proportions. • Slumber Party Barbie was introduced in 1965 and came with a bathroom scale permanently set at 110 lbs with a book entitled “How to Lose Weight” with directions inside stating simply “Don’t eat.” And this is girls inspiration.
‘Thinspiration’ is in, apparently. We’re not talking about getting inspired by healthy women who eat right and exercise to maintain a healthy weight. We’re talking ‘Pro Ana’ which means pro anorexia. Young girls who can’t seem to get small enough, who think Natalie Portman is a porker. The newest look is ‘thigh gap,’ where you’re not attractive if your thighs touch.
I’m sorry…. what?
Your thighs are supposed to touch! You know what I think when thighs don’t touch? A skeleton. A skeleton comes to mind. There’s supposed to be meat there. And hello, what the hell kind of world do we live in where Natalie Portman is fat? I mean, have you seen her?? Any thinner and she’d slip through the cracks.
Today’s youth is headed in all the wrong directions. I like to blame the media. All this pressure for Kate Middleton and Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson, just to name a few, to lose the baby weight is ridiculous. You’re a new mom, you have better things to focus on than looking like a model right out of the gates. Modeling agencies won’t book anyone over a size two. So you don’t see healthy women in magazines. Hot sells products. Then young girls think you have to be hot to wear said product successfully. Want the newest look from Vogue magazine? Lose twenty pounds or you can’t pull it off.
I’ve always battled with my body, at least since adolescence. I always hated one thing or another. I’m not sure if it was my psychological illness that caused it or just the social media telling me I wasn’t good enough as is. Lots of diets, on and off. Never really happy.
Then when I got pregnant I had terrible morning sickness, I couldn’t eat anything for six out of the nine months, and I had produced too much relaxin in my hips and couldn’t exercise without excruciating pain. I gained fifty pounds. I had a heck of a time losing that weight. I dieted, I exercised excessively. In one summer I lost twenty-nine pounds and I was pretty happy with that. I do still have a mommy belly, but what can you do. But it did make me realize that I wasn’t really fat before, I just thought I was. Being bigger, I could look back at the clothes that fit, the pictures, and think “Wow I was actually skinny!” But I didn’t think so at the time, what was that all about?
I’m still not where I was before the pregnancy. But it’s not all bad. I’d like to shed a few pounds, but dieting stresses me out. I have enough anxiety, I don’t need to worry about denying myself the things I want to eat. I don’t want to beat myself up over having a moment of weakness and eating two cookies instead of one. I don’t want to hate myself for what I eat or don’t eat. It’s too psychologically draining.
Still, there are days when I want to be thinner, when I want to feel and look good in my clothes.
I don’t need to be Natalie Portman skinny, or skinnier as they say she’s fat. (WTF?) I just want to be healthy and feel comfortable in my clothes. I love clothes, but since my son was born I haven’t found any I’m comfortable in. I used to be able to walk into a store and say ‘This will fit me, I’m not even gonna try it on.’ Now I have a hard time fitting my body, I have to try everything on. It discourages me from buying clothes, which discourages me from looking nice, which makes me feel like a slob, which makes me feel like a hot mess out in public. I’m almost ashamed of the way I dress. I want to be fashionable, but when it comes down to it I wear jeans and t-shirts because they fit comfortably.
It’s a never ending battle, like all things.
But I think as a society it’s our job to teach our children that it’s ok not to have thigh gap. That we’re all beautiful. Our daughters are beautiful just the way they are, they need to know that.
Some celebs have it right. There are some hollywood beauties who are trying to get the message out there. That it’s ok not to fit into society’s perfect little mold.
I love Kat Dennings;
And Jennifer Lawrence. It’s so nice that a young star, who’s an idol and inspiration to really young girls, has this kind of attitude; “In Hollywood, I’m obese. I’m considered a fat actress. I’m never going to starve myself for a part. I keep waiting for that one role to come along that scares me enough into dieting, and it just can’t happen. I’m invincible. I don’t want little girls to be like, ‘Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner.’ That’s something that I was really conscious of during training. I was trying to get my body to look fit and strong, not thin and underfed.”
And there’s pop stars too. Like Adele, who refuse to diet, who prove you can big big and successful as all hell.
Society sucks. That’s all there is to it. Telling our girls they need to be deathly skinny to be attractive, to be worth it. Thank goodness for these women who fight the societal norm. We need a movement, or our young girls will fade away to nothing.
So I leave you with this. When did this stop being a thing?